its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
home. puking in laundry basket.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
