just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
