Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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