what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When are your genitals available?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
