Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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