My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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