For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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