stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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