it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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