I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
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Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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