trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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