soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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