im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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