i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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