were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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