Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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