this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
