I'm passing your future prison.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
