Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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