Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
