I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
