Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
