I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize