Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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