It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
