Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Drunk is not a location!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
