I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize