is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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