In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
