But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
