He disabled his match.com account in front of me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
