All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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