I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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