I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
