just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
