I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Found the puke drawer
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize