took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress