Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
