Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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