I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize