You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
