she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
