Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
