I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
