i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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