I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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