Don't EVER smell your tampon
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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