i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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