Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
All I want is dick and wine.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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