Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
