I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
