he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
