Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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