i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
