Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
