What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just googled if crying burns calories
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
