official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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