After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So much Jack, so little girl.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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