Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
